Near You Always
by Orokid
Summary: Songfic to Jewel's song.  Shizuma and Miyuki's one time relationship before Nagisa's arrival so a year or two before.  Sad ending.  Somewhat sexual, so rated as a just in case.


**_Fixed it so that the lyrics are nothing but a memory. To those that didn't like them, be happy._**

**Orokid**_: So… this is the first time I've ever tried this coupling, and the first thought of a story had to be rated R. Figures. Lol. Anyway, I sort-of, kind-of, tried writing this well, but I did it as I was sitting at the computer waiting to go to my art class. If I could, I would try to draw it out but… I think my homophobic mother might just get a hint. Lol. Anyway…_

_I really hope you enjoy it. I had fun writing it, despite it's depressing nature. I took a lot of this from something that's happened in my life (because I was once in Miyuki's position, in love with a Shizuma-character) and tried to add in a flair of my own writing just for the Hell of it. Hope you all like it!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with this. The end._

_**Near You Always**_

"_Je t'aime_, Miyuki-chan."

It had all started with that alone, the words echoing within her soul over and over again until she had felt as though she had heard them a million times already. Still, inside, she knew that it hadn't been enough to fill in the craving she had felt for the long years that had come between them, the heart-tearing losses that both had incurred over time. Her heart seemed to have already taken off, a marathon's worth of beats taking the place of it's usual pace, and it was just from those three little words that the woman had spoken to her.

Yet she knew that they had just been a fleeting phrase, one that caused her to cave in upon herself and grant the wishes of a woman that seemed to think little of anyone that didn't partake in her interests. She had only spoken the words because she had chosen her closest friend, the one that had stayed by her side for far too long to remember, to become her next victim, the one who might replace the longing in her heart for a day or so before dismissing her entirely like the rest. She didn't seem to care that those simple words had shaken her through and through, offering her a sort of bliss that she'd never known before since the day they had first met one another. The woman didn't care that she had chosen someone that did indeed love her much more than she could ever be loved in return.

And as she would gather up the courage within herself to refuse her touches, to pull away from the arms that she had desperately wanted to be in since they had first exchanged hellos, her hard work would be lost just by looking into those deep forests of passions unbound, the ones that Miyuki seemed keen to get herself drowned within. She would be forced to hold on tightly to this woman, to become just another escape that she sought after, and she wouldn't mind it as long as their eyes remained focused upon one another.

Never before had the student council president believed that one's heart could race as it was, although she was finding herself perplexed by it's ability to and sinking further into intense bliss. The woman whom she had loved so tenderly, so secretively, was leaning in closer and closer, her soft breath whispering unkindly against the lips of one that quivered so underneath. It was obvious that she wanted it so; it was obvious that she wished for the woman to lean in closer and finish the deed that she seemed so devilishly close to finishing. There was no denying her need for those candied ribbons of flesh, that taste of honey that so many other girls had received the privilege of while she had gotten none.

Her eyes had slowly drifted closed as she moved in ever closer, and she finally felt her beloved's lips upon her own, offering a subtile taste of what she had craved for so long. Within her chest, her heart pounded with ferocity, throbbing in a way that she was sure that every feeling that she had ever felt within her was trying to make their way out from her body. The woman's gentle fingertips had brushed tenderly against the porcelain skin of her cheek, causing her body to press back against its will, begging for more than its host was willing to give.

Every loving caress given forth by desires long kept within held her at wit's end, and she begged with her body to stop reacting so naturally. As much as she wanted it, as much as she craved those lips upon her own, those fingers to dance across her body, she did not wish to be another scapegoat for her hidden love's torn affections. Yet, as much as she might plead to her body to stop its foolishness, it would not listen to the reason she had come to know after watching her beloved roam about the campus for another like herself. In the end, she would find her mind's common knowledge being submerged under the intense emotions that swirled within her very being, lost in the tides of a love that could not to swallowed as it usually was.

The innocent lilies that she had brought in seemed forgotten on the floor, lost from either's mind as they willed their hearts into their passion. They had been brought prior to this moment, offering the same sense of friendship that they had long shared since they had been paired together in their dorms.

But that friendship teetered now on the plane of existence that neither cared to pay attention to as Miyuki felt her body being pressed into the wall. Her hands had wrapped tightly about the waist of the one that held her cheek in her hand, the other hand lost to her sub-consciousness as she reveled in the feelings that blossomed as they did into reality. Lips had opened to receive the exchanging of an equaled ardor for the other, hearts and minds entwining time and time again, and it seemed as though neither could receive enough. Their bodies had seemed so close, almost too close, but her heart had taken control of her senses to the point that she wanted to be closer still to this incredible woman. She wanted to know how it felt to be one with her, how it felt to have all that she had dreamed of and more.

Miyuki desperately wanted her, wanted desperately to belong to her dreamed lover, and she soon found that the woman's missing hand had moved to her waist, pulling her leg forwards so that it wrapped loosely about her own. Fingers trailed on her limb as their fervor increased still, pressing into the pail skin that remained both taunt and soft to the touch. She knew she wanted more, needed more, or else she would die from an unreleased love that had sizzled within her breast for far too long.

They had pulled from one another momentarily, taking the time to gaze into the eyes of those that they were with. Even now, in the distance of her eyes, Miyuki could tell that it was not her that this woman could see. She was not the one whom she imagined herself kissing, teasing, holding so tightly. All she was to her was a replacement for the one that remained in her heart, in her mind, even now. It hurt to know that, but… she had already gone too far now to deny the pleasures that both sought for now in this time. This woman held her heart, as well as her body, at will, and it seemed that the ransom she desired was something she was willing to give to her, even if she would think of her as another. All she understood was that her beloved had complete control over everything, and her friend with whom she had treasured for years had no domination over her own will. If she even tried to pull forth all of her courage now, she knew that she would lose it, and there was no way she would be able to force her away.

Slowly, lips pressed against Miyuki's neck, offering a tender apology for what she knew was to come. The back of her head pressed against the wooden walls, allowing the woman to do as she pleased with her body. Her heart continued it's breakneck pace, and she was sure that she could hear it as she felt those pleasurable pilgrims of love press against the skin beneath the fabric of her neckline. A gentle gasp escaped her, offering only one word- one that said to go on despite what her mind pleaded her to do.

"Shizuma."

Her fingertips weaved into the woman's hair as she moved further down, listening as she unclasped the buttons of her uniform, closing her eyes as she allowed herself to get lost in all that she felt, and she bit down upon her lower lip as she felt the careful teeth nip at her tender, formally untouched skin. She was sure she had gone and died to heaven, leaving her body behind for what worldly pleasures she was sure she would only feel this one time.

"Kaori…" Her heart broke entirely as she heard her whisper a single name, _that _name, and a tear slid down her cheek as she opened her eyes to stare at the bare ceiling above. Still, she allowed the woman to continue her course, pressing further for an emotion that could not be recovered by the actions she was doing. She couldn't heal by forcing herself upon another, even if they wished for her touches much like she yearned for her passed lover's.

Another tear escaped Miyuki's stronghold as she closed her eyes, leaving for a world inside her where her heart's words were returned by the one who she felt for… For now, she would allow herself to be an escape for her beloved Shizuma.

_**FIN**_

**Orokid**_: So what do you think? I know that it's a bit ecchi, but I thought that it would be better that way. Shizuma, after losing her lover Kaori, would turn to someone who had been there throughout it all, always supporting her no matter what. Throughout the series that I watched, I felt as though Miyuki had been the only one to resist her charms- but I thought, for once, maybe she wouldn't have sometime before Nagisa had made her appearance. So… yeah._

_Anyway, most of it was written on the fly, so there are more than likely a few grammar mistakes, so forgive me on that much. I was trying a coupling that I've only been thinking about lately. Just a warning. Still, I think I did an alright job on it. If you think so too, do me a tiny little favor…_

_Review. Please. Thank you._

_Love ya!_


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